Lev David | Rehumanize yourself.

"If you're paying attention, your life will almost certainly pass like
a dream." -- Me.

Sometimes I give myself chills.

1. Nationwide Airlines -- there's a guy on a Nationwide flight who
hasn't flown Nationwide before. Passengers talk among themselves as if
it's a grand scandal. The tone is conceited, the production dull, and
I anybody truly impressed by cameos from rugby players? (I don't think
I want to hear the answer to that.)

2. Tracker's oh-boy-haven't-we-found-a-lot-of-cars ad. First we see
the cars stacked high to the edge of space, proving that Tracker has
indeed found a lot of cars. Then we see a skydiver dive off the stack,
proving that Tracker has indeed found a lot of cars. Waitasec, that's
the same point... twice. It feels like two weak ads held together with
second-hand masking tape.

Somebody wrote these ads. Several people signed them off.

by Lev David, a minor writer from South Africa.

1. It's mind-blowing to even consider the possibility that we live in a world where this is possible. We do.
2. You really should have more people from the rest of the world on your show. Interesting people.
3. Like you, Oprah, I don't believe in sitting around waiting for something incredible to happen. We get each other.
4. I'm a heterosexual guy who's not afraid to admit that Nate Berkus is one of the most beautiful things to ever walk the planet. Ain't that refreshing?
5. There's more to this than this. There's a thought behind it that's big and powerful that I think people will respond to. (But I'll only tell you when I'm on the show.)
6. I haven't let obscurity change me. I promise I won't let celebrity change me either.
7. If you're worried about the costs, I'll pay for my travel and accommodation. How, I'm not sure. But I'll find a way.
8. I promise not to jump on the furniture.
9. You have to admit, Oprah, it's a damn funny idea.
10. I'll bring you a T-shirt that says: "I had Lev David on my show and all I got was this stupid T-shirt."

and one more, for good measure:

11. C'mon! James Frey and not me?