Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Me and The Dame.
Maybe I don't hate Judi Dench. Maybe I just want to be her.
www.LevDavid.com
Monday, October 23, 2006
Grumpy.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Two bad names for dogs.
Quote of the day.
"If you're paying attention, your life will almost certainly pass like
a dream." -- Me.
Sometimes I give myself chills.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Two truly crap TV ads.
1. Nationwide Airlines -- there's a guy on a Nationwide flight who
hasn't flown Nationwide before. Passengers talk among themselves as if
it's a grand scandal. The tone is conceited, the production dull, and
I anybody truly impressed by cameos from rugby players? (I don't think
I want to hear the answer to that.)
2. Tracker's oh-boy-haven't-we-found-a-lot-of-cars ad. First we see
the cars stacked high to the edge of space, proving that Tracker has
indeed found a lot of cars. Then we see a skydiver dive off the stack,
proving that Tracker has indeed found a lot of cars. Waitasec, that's
the same point... twice. It feels like two weak ads held together with
second-hand masking tape.
Somebody wrote these ads. Several people signed them off.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
10 REASONS OPRAH SHOULD HAVE ME ON HER SHOW
by Lev David, a minor writer from South Africa.
- It's mind-blowing to even consider the possibility that we live in a world where this is possible. We do.
- You really should have more people from the rest of the world on your show. Interesting people.
- Like you, Oprah, I don't believe in sitting around waiting for something incredible to happen. We get each other.
- I'm a heterosexual guy who's not afraid to admit that Nate Berkus is one of the most beautiful things to ever walk the planet. Ain't that refreshing?
- There's more to this than this. There's a thought behind it that's big and powerful that I think people will respond to. (But I'll only tell you when I'm on the show.)
- I haven't let obscurity change me. I promise I won't let celebrity change me either.
- If you're worried about the costs, I'll pay for my travel and accommodation. How, I'm not sure. But I'll find a way.
- I promise not to jump on the furniture.
- You have to admit, Oprah, it's a damn funny idea.
- I'll bring you a T-shirt that says: "I had Lev David on my show and all I got was this stupid T-shirt."
and one more, for good measure:
- C'mon! James Frey and not me?
Friday, October 06, 2006
Yay for Gwigwi!
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Here and there.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
I want to be wise right now.
I really do. With only hours to go before leaving India for Johannesburg, I really want to be wise.
But then I realise: perhaps I was too wise in days gone by. Last night, particularly, when I wrote that letter to a friend. Dammit, I was excessively wise last night. I peaked just a little too early. Now I'm all wisdomed out.
I'll tell you what I said, though. The friend, if she's sensible, won't complain; writers are notorious violators of the confidence of friends.
There's something about being here that demands giving in. Do you scuba? Well, in so many ways, being here reminds me of that moment when you tip yourself backwards over the edge of the boat into the sea. Suddenly, it's all different.
Several paradigms shift clear kilometers in various directions as you step off the plane. Most things are the same, of course. Most things are the same everywhere. Two-legged people, still in the majority, walk about on two legs. Trees grow up. When you fall, it's almost always down. Some things strike you as strange, though.Of course, there's intense beauty everywhere. But often in the same frame, there are things that turn your stomach. Things that anger, rattle, confuse. It's the habit of a stranded, foreign eye. Ultimately, though, this isn't the kind of thing you can click-click-click through the cold machinery of the mind. …I'm on the verge of suggesting that you could feel it… with your heart or something. But let's avoid that mushy bullshit, shall we? You could, however, feel it in the simplest way:Against your skin. In your hair. Pressed between your tongue and palate.
You tip yourself in. Backwards off the edge of the boat. And the sea closes its mouth around you, wet. Then quickly sucks you in.
How does your town rock?
Monday, October 02, 2006
One more sleep till South Africa!
I am NOT a patriot. But I'm looking forward to being back in the
country I know better than any other.
This morning, having left the TV on while taking a shower, I heard
that Doo-bee-doo rubbish us South Africans know so well playing on
VH1. I ran out of the shower to sing and dance-along. With great
enthusiasm.
Yes, I prefer humanism to patriotism. It's a fancypantsintellectual
stance to take, and I like fancypantsintellectual stances. Still, on
some level, I'm a fool and gladly so. Hand me that gaudy, Y-front flag
and I'll wave it. I might even get a lump in my throat.
Here are a few things I'm looking forward to, apart from friends and
family (none of whom are getting presents, so get over it already):
Sushi at Tsunami.
Browsing at Bookdealers on a lazy Saturday afternoon.
Drinking water out of the tap.
Dancing my arse off at some truly crap spot around the corner from nowhere.
Glasses of wine at Ant Café.
Stealing wi-fi.
Driving my car. (I hate that I'm looking forward to that, but I am.)
Jacaranda flowers. (Okay, I'm a cheeseball.)
DVD Gurus and Video Spot.
Flirting with girls and not worrying about being picked up by the
morality police.
The Market Theatre.
Parking in the shadow of Turbine Hall.
Horror Café.
The Bassline.
Newtown and Melville and Rosebank as a whole, actually.
My lovely Zoo Lake and, of course, the zoo. (I like animals best in captivity.)
Joburg toughness, combined with Joburg softness: the way strangers
talk to each other as equals and friends... at least in the parts of
Jozi I live, work and play in.
Cold nights in summer, wearing coats.
Vida.
Buying cheese and nuts at the flea market.
Saying "Howzit!" and not being looked at funny.
...Getting a haircut.
And that's just Joburg! I should be in Durbs by the weekend. Cape Town
soon thereafter.
Not a bad little country, South Africa.
So THAT'S what they mean by enlightenment.
Skin lightening creams are sold everywhere, including South Africa. But in India, they seem entirely uncontroversial -- manufactured by the big guys like Garnier, advertised on primetime TV in ultra-glossy ads, endorsed by celebrities. Lighter skin = success, fame, sex. This is not cool.
Happy birthday, Big G!
It's Gandhi's birthday and the country's throwing a bloody big party.
Predictably, the birthday boy hasn't shown up.
...He's so passive. And resistant.
(Thanks for the gag, Gabby.)
About Me
-
- Name:Lev David
- Location:South Africa
Lev David is a writer and media consultant with a startlingly fresh approach to communicating your message. With words and ideas that are lean, precise and simply unstoppable, he has been smacking the mainstream media about the arse since he was 15. The world is a mess of messages. Cut through.