Lev David | Rehumanize yourself.

We got something done! Many of you forwarded my little tirade against the major South African daily newspaper, The Star, got me a phonecall from a major South African Sunday newspaper who asked me to extend my letter to an op-ed. They're in a difficult position, and it may not find its way into print, but a few good people are trying, and the piece is written. So here it is.

Please forward, publish, bulletin or link-to (www.levdavid.com/blog.html) however you see fit. The war is far from won but as long as we're fighting it, let's be the side that's laughing! Not unlike this.... Bwahahhhahhhahhhahhaaaaah!

Lev
lev@levdavid.com ----->

The L-word. A thank you to our daily newspapers.
by Lev David

As soon as I read the headline "LESBIAN COUPLE GUILTY" in The Star up here in Jozi (March 23), I rattled off my congratulations to that newspaper's editor. I've since heard that The Star's sister paper, The Daily News ran the same headline.

Well done. It's about time the distinguished editors of our country's most read daily newspapers took up the cause of that oft misunderstood creature, the garden-variety bigot.

You thought lesbians were all cuddly, walking around in their sensible shoes? I'll admit, I've often fantasized about being one. I even have a few lesbian friends. But not for long.

Could this be the start of an explosion of lesbo-pathological violence? Can we right-thinking heterosexuals ever feel safe while woman feels woman?

Thank you to both newspapers for the bluntness of the headline; it really does cut to the core of the case. I've considered the alternatives:

"WHITE COUPLE GUILTY" would be equally factually correct, as would "BADLY-DRESSED COUPLE GUILTY". (Let's be honest—the homosexual's flair for fine dressing rarely extends to the female of the species; the killer was pictured in The Star wearing polar fleece.)

Do we know anything about their religious preferences? Perhaps it could have read "CHRISTIAN COUPLE GUILTY". Where did they buy their groceries? Was "WOOLWORTHS-SHOPPING COUPLE GUILTY" considered?

I wondered for a bit whether simply "COUPLE GUILTY" would have been a better option, for brevity's sake. With fewer words, they could have used an even bigger font or better, multiple exclamation marks. Of course, the headline, "LESBIAN COUPLE GUILTY", is the most socially responsible option and, let's not forget, the one most likely to sell newspapers.

And to the lisping liberals who ask, using their clever words to subvert common sense: "What if they were heterosexual? Would the headline have read HETEROSEXUAL COUPLE GUILTY?" We hear your sarcasm, you lezzie-lover… you reader of books… you wearer of Argyle socks.

Obviously no editor would allow that. "Heterosexual" is too long a word for a headline. "Straight", perhaps.

But let's not get all hypothetical. Straight people don't beat children. And they certainly don't kill them. Leave that to the lesbians.

Lev David, March 24
lev@levdavid.com
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